Who Stole The Cookie From The Cookie Jar
by Pwale
Summary: In this oneshot I ask the eternal questionWho stole the cookie from the cookie jar? You'll laugh, you'll laugh some more, and you'll be shocked at the plot twists that end this odd and random parody. I beseech you, do read!Oneshot


_Disclaimer:_

_Koga: Hey! How come I'm not in this one! (He glares at Pwale)_

_Pwale: Well, there wasn't any spot where I could fit you in. Myoga had to be really random, and you just weren't random enough. I'm sorry._

_Koga: You'd BETTER be sorry! You haven't given me ANY time with my beloved Kagome, you nasty witch!_

_Pwale: …Eh? That's right! I haven't! Oh dear, I'm sorry Koga! Don't worry! I'll write one soon!_

_Koga: Good. And you know what's even better?_

_Pwale: What?_

_Koga: You don't own ANY of us, except Sesshomaru!_

_Sesshomaru: Do you have a death wish then? She does not own me._

_Pwale: Oh, Koga! Sesshomaru! You two are such great fellows to have around! (She glomps them)_

_Mr. X: Sense? Disclaimers need to make sense? I didn't know that._

_Lawyer #1: They don't._

_Lawyer #2: Unfortunately._

_Al: Hey! Back to me here! Helloooo!!!_

…

_Hello, and welcome to my latest one-shot! This one is, as it says in the sub-title, based on a bus-ride I had. A group of us started playing this game, and it sounds REALLY cool when you get a lot of people at it, let me tell you! It was so much fun! And it inspired me to write this, so enjoy!_

_Oh! And you want to know the best part?_

_There aren't any controversial bits!_

…

_Well, at least I hope that there aren't…_

…

_**Who Stole The Cookie From The Cookie Jar**_

_A one-shot by Pwalefriend, based on the true story of a bus ride._

…

It was a normal day, like so many are. In fact, like _too_ many are. Nowadays, when a day like that happens, it's mighty suspicious. You just know that it's such a normal day something very odd is about to happen.

And something very odd _did_ happen.

In the western hemisphere…a man walked into a bakery and was attacked by a flying lizard with wings of wax, who then flew too close to the oil lamp and it's wings of wax were melted and it plummeted and died a horrible mushy death that a later traumatized young girl then stepped in it gooey carcass.

But as our story does not take place in the western hemisphere, this has _nothing_ to do with our story. Funny how things work out sometimes, isn't it?

And so I begin…

…

Shippo ran into the meadow where Kagome, Inuyasha and Sango were all sitting and talking.

"Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar?" Shippo demanded, referring to his much beloved cookie jar that Kagome had bought for him and his even more beloved last cookie.

The three grown ups looked at each other, then the two women pointed at Inuyasha.

"Inuyasha stole the cookie from the cookie jar." They said. Inuyasha blinked.

"Who, me?" He growled at them angrily. Sango flinched a little, but Kagome was undaunted.

"Yes, you." She sighed.

"Couldn't be." Inuyasha snorted disdainfully.

Sango looked at him.

"Then who?" She asked, actually curious. Inuyasha glared at Kagome.

"Kagome stole the cookie from the cookie jar." He said.

Kagome gasped.

"Who, me?" She asked, as if there could be some sort of mistake.

"Yes, you." Sango, Inuyasha and Shippo chorused. None of them noticed that Miroku had also come into the clearing by now.

"Couldn't be!" Kagome said.

"Then who?" The trio asked. Kagome paused a moment, and then nodded at Sango.

"Sango stole the cookie from the cookie jar." Kagome suggested. Sango looked as if she would laugh.

"Who, me?" She said, pointing at herself jokingly.

"Yes, you." The other three said.

"Couldn't be!" She said happily.

"Then who?" Was the reply. Sango thought about it a moment, and then noticed that Miroku was standing behind Shippo and was looking _very_ amused.

She pointed at him.

"Miroku stole the cookie from the cookie jar." She said. Miroku almost burst out laughing when all four of them looked accusingly at him.

"Who, me?" He said.

"Yes, you." They all said.

"Couldn't be."

"Then who?"

Miroku had to think about that one for a second. But only a second.

"Kaede stole the cookie from the cookie jar."

…

Well, of course Kaede wasn't there, so without a word the four of them picked themselves up and walked down to the village. Kaede looked up at them when they filed in and before she could speak Miroku said again-

"Kaede stole the cookie from the cookie jar."

Kaede couldn't have been more surprised.

"Who, me?" She asked.

"Yes, you." They said.

"Couldn't be."

"Then who?"

Kaede looked around, and then spotted Myoga the flea sitting near the fire for warmth.

"Myoga stole the cookie from the cookie jar." She said. Myoga looked up, shocked at suddenly being put on the spot, with all those big, scary and mad faces staring down at him.

And when he said _big,_ he meant _really, really, really_ big. Huh…he'd never noticed how big they all were before…

"W-who? Me?" He asked nervously.

"Yes you." They all hissed at him. Even Kaede.

"Couldn't be!"

"Then who?"

Myoga thought about it, but he could think of no one. Finally he just said-

"Kagura stole the cookie from the cookie jar."

…

…

…

Well, of course Kagura wasn't there. But it _did_ just so happen that she was nearby. And so when the six of them started looking for her it didn't take them long to find her.

Kagura was, to say the least, beyond surprised when she turned and found the six of them staring at her with angry faces.

Myoga coughed and said again-

"Kagura stole the cookie from the cookie jar!"

Kagura stared at the little flea demon. He seemed a bit familiar, but she was _completely positive_ that they'd never met before. And now he was accusing her of stealing! How rude!

"Who, me?" Kagura sniffed disdainfully.

"Yes you!" They all snapped back.

"Couldn't be!" Kagura snapped back at them.

"Then who?" They asked sulkily.

Kagura waved a hand dismissively.

"Kanna stole the cookie from the cookie jar."

…

…

…

Well, Kanna wasn't there either. But it was agreed (without a single word passed, mind. But in the spirit of such things, who are we to say "no"?) that Kagura could lead them to Naraku's mansion.

And it just so happened that Kanna had eaten a very large breakfast of headless teddy bears that day and was sleeping it off. And Naraku couldn't use Kanna's mirror himself, so the poor villain had no warning that rhyming fun was about to descend on his household.

Well…he _could_ use it, in a manner of speaking…But all it would show him were naked pictures Jaken, so he _really _preferred not to.

Kanna blinked when Kagura shook her awake and said harshly-

"Kanna stole the cookie from the cookie jar!"

Kanna didn't even look up. All she could think of was that last teddy bear. It had tasted of moth. Bluegh!

"Who, me?" Kanna said listlessly.

"Yes you!" All seven of them snapped.

"Could not be so." Kanna said.

…Well, so that wasn't exactly how it went, but Kanna was the personification of Nothing. She couldn't be expected to grasp these things; that would just be unfair!

"Then _who_?" They all asked her.

"Naraku stole the cookie from the cookie jar." Kanna said haltingly, making an attempt at rhythm.

It didn't turn out very well.

I won't describe it to you, it's best to preserve your ears and your eyes.

So when they had all stopped groveling in pain they picked themselves up, brushed themselves off (Kagome helped Shippo and Kanna, Kanna had some odd sort of fuzzy white stuff all over her that looked like the guts of a teddy bear) and then they all marched right over to Naraku's "secret" lair where he liked to read the fashion tips in the odd magazines that he seemed to find at all the places where Kagome's back pack had broken, along with numerous other items that he had made into jewelry.

And Kagome had thought that only really weird female art students and drunk college students made tampon earrings…

Who knew, huh.

Anyway, when the eight of them came into the room Naraku prepared himself for a fight. But instead Kanna opened her mouth and-

"Naraku stole the cookie from the cookie jar." Kanna said in her quiet, listless voice.

Naraku was highly offended. He didn't even _like _Shippo's cookies! They were store-bought. Naraku was a home-made kind of guy.

"Who, me?" He demanded.

"Yes you!" They all snapped.

Well, except for Kanna. She had spotted a green teddy bear in the corner and was stalking it in the shadows, preparing to pounce. Kagura spotted her, and then saw the teddy, and then froze.

"Couldn't be!" Naraku said.

"Then who?"

"…Kohaku stole the cookie from the cookie jar." Naraku said.

Well, no. Kohaku wasn't in Naraku's "secret" lair at that moment. So they all walked out to go find him. Even Kanna and Kagura, since the green teddy bear that had so fascinated them had suddenly disappeared. And they had nothing better to do, after all.

So they came along.

Now, as it would happen Kohaku (who was secretly a guru of the ancient art of knitting and reading at the same time) was meditating in The Sacred Cavern For Secret Gurus Of The Ancient Art Of Knitting And Reading At The Same Time. It was a very important moment, and the poor lad was on the brink of knitting/reading enlightenment when or merry band of nursery rhymers came in.

Naraku gave a polite cough in respect for the meditation of said guru, and then repeated in a rather grumpy way-

"Kohaku stole the cookie from the cookie jar."

Kohaku opened one eye.

"Who, me?" Kohaku asked.

"Yes you." Everyone said.

"Couldn't be." Kohaku stated.

"Then who?" Everyone asked with a sigh. Kohaku thought about it for a moment.

"Kikyo stole the cookie from the cookie jar."

Now was _Kikyo_ in The Sacred Cavern For Secret Gurus Of The Ancient Art Of Knitting And Reading At The Same Time? I don't _think_ so. Just because she was in Kohaku's Knitting Classes For The Undead did _not_ mean she had the right to venture into such a holy and magnificent damp cavern! So, naturally they had to go look for her.

They found her staring off a cliff, pondering on the meaning of cheese. Kohaku gave a little wave and then said-

"Kikyo stole the cookie from the cookie jar."

Kikyo did not know what a cookie was, but people were talking to her, so surely that was an improvement! Usually the only ones who acknowledged her existence were Inuyasha and Naraku, and whenever Naraku saw her he started threatening her and whenever Inuyasha saw her he started invading her personal space and declaring how he hadn't abandoned her. It was all really very annoying when all Kikyo wanted to do was settle down and practice experimental medicine on innocent hurt people.

"Who me?" Kikyo asked, mockingly.

"Yes you." All ten of them snapped.

"Couldn't be." Kikyo sniffed haughtily.

"Then who?" They all asked.

"Jaken stole the cookie from the cookie jar." Kikyo said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. And they all had to agree, it _did_ seem like something that Jaken would do.

So they had to go and find Jaken. Which wasn't that hard, since he was in a nearby flower field with Rin and Ah-Un.

When Jaken looked up and saw all eleven of them staring down at him he almost fainted right then and there.

"Jaken stole the cookie from the cookie jar." Kikyo said in an offhand manner. While they had been searching Kikyo and Kanna had been having the most fascinating conversation on the meaning of cheese, and the undead miko-thing was eager to return to said conversation.

"Who, me?" Jaken gasped, absolutely offended.

"Yes you!" Everyone (except for Kanna and Kikyo) said.

"Couldn't be!" Jaken said in that annoying squeaky voice of his.

"Then who?" Everyone asked. Shippo was beginning to wonder if his beloved last cookie had been worth all this trouble, before he remembered that it had been a _frosted_ cookie. Such a thing…How cruel could a villain _be_? To take such a boon from it's rightful place, namely Shippo's stomach!

Jaken thought…Who could he blame? _Who_ could _he_ blame? And then he saw it. His golden opportunity.

"Rin stole the cookie from the cookie jar!!!" Jaken screamed excitedly, jumping up and down and pointing at the giggling little girl who was on the other side of the clearing. Everyone watched as Rin giggled and put a flower crown on her head. Then they looked back to Jaken, eyebrows raised.

"No!" Jaken protested. "I'm telling the truth! I saw her with it! _Rin stole the cookie from the cookie jar_!"

Rin looked over, as if just noticing them.

"Who me?" She asked, surprised.

"Yes you!" Everyone yelled (Except Kikyo and Kanna who were now discussing the correct way to sauté a teddy bear).

"Couldn't be." Rin said.

"Then _who_?" Everyone asked, exasperated.

"Lord Sesshomaru stole the cookie from the cookie jar."

They all looked left.

They all looked right.

Then they all looked back at Rin.

"Rin, sweetie." Kagome said. "You wouldn't happen to know where Sesshomaru is, would you?"

Rin grinned happily. "Follow me!" Rin said, and led them into the woods where the soon found Sesshomaru preening his fluffy and singing a song about a girl who fell in love with a sailor at the top of his lungs. When Sesshomaru saw them he coughed and then managed to glare at them in a dignified manner, leaving all with a great amount of respect for the youkai. It wasn't just everyone who could look so elegant and deadly after being found in so silly a situation.

"Lord Sesshomaru stole the cookie from the cookie jar." Rin said.

Sesshomaru just looked at them. So then Kagome tried.

"Sesshomaru stole the cookie from the cookie jar!" Kagome said a little louder then Rin had.

"Yes." Sesshomaru said. "I did. Do you have a point, mortal?"

"…Oh…" Everyone muttered.

Well, Shippo decided right then and there that though his cookie _had_ been frosted, it just really _wasn't_ worth this.

"Speaking of which," Sesshomaru continued. "I rather liked that cookie. I demand more."

Kagome gasped, outraged.

"I'm not going to go buy _you_ a lot of cookies!" She snapped.

Sesshomaru glared at her, and then took a very familiar book out of his sleeve. Kagome's eyes widened and she gasped in horror.

Somewhere else, Ginta began to feel very cold.

"_Dear Diary,"_ Sesshomaru began to read. "_I think that Ginta is sooooooooooooooo-_"

"Cookies? You want cookies?" Kagome interrupted, her voice unnaturally high. "I'll give you cookies! Oh _boy_, I'll go get you more cookies then you could ever eat in your life time!"

Sesshomaru gave an arrogant sniff.

"I highly doubt that." Sesshomaru said. "But I think that this may be the beginning of a very successful business arrangement…for me."

And so it was that Inuyasha learned just how evil his brother was and Shippo learned that sometimes, it _just isn't worth it_.

Poor Shippo. Kagome could never afford to buy him another cookie. Instead Shippo was forced to choke down Naraku's home made ones.

_**The End**_

…

_So, how was it? Did you laugh? Were you shocked? Are you now wondering just where my sense of logic was while I wrote this? I think it's on holiday._

_Well, I hoped that you enjoyed that and please remember to review!_

_Sincerely_

_Pwalefriend_


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